


Weekly Sessions With The Local Psychotic Psychiatrist

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Batman Fusion, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Anti-Hero, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Arkham Asylum, Attempted Sexual Assault, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Character's Name Spelled as Yuri, Crimes & Criminals, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Developing Friendships, Escaping Arkham Asylum, Eventual Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Friendship, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky Friendship, M/M, Male Friendship, Minor Character Death, Minor Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Minor Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Minor Violence, Police, Police Officer Katsuki Yuuri, Protective Katsuki Yuuri, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Self-Esteem Issues, Violence, Weight Issues, Yuri Plisetsky Is Protective of Katsuki Yuuri, but very minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22642996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Yuri thought his morning already sucked, still stewing about the jackass he'd dated the night before making fat jokes at him all night, but as it turns out, fate is a cruel mistress, as when he gets to work, there's some crazy blonde shooting the place up with smoke bombs and bean bags calling him a pig, great! And that crazy blonde? The infamous Yuri Plisetsky, recently broken up with the crowned king of crime JJ, and looking to gain his independence, this is a match made in hell if he's ever seen one, so why does Plisetsky actually seem kinda... nice...? Well, explaining that the "pig" comment is just because Yuri is a cop and that he actually thinks Yuri iscuteprobably has something to do with that....
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	Weekly Sessions With The Local Psychotic Psychiatrist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [venom_for_free](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free/gifts).



> For Venom, after we talked about the potential of Harley!Yura and Renee Montoya!Yuri, ofcourse leading to Poison Ivy!Otabek and Batwoman!Viktor

This was the last time

Yuri knew that he had said that a few times in the past- maybe more than a few- but this time he meant it

He wasn't going to let JJ do this to him again, he was done being Ride Or Die for someone who would rather kick him out a window than so much as share credit for his accomplishments

Sniffling quietly, he rubbed at his eyes as he let go of the weel of the truck, rolling out of it and grunting as he hit the hard pavement beneath him, watching the massive truck of gasoline plow through the gates of the ACE chemical plant, and in only seconds-...

***BOOM*!!!!!**

A small smirk graced over his face as he watched red and pink and blue clouds of smoke tumble out of the building, fires and explosions starting every way he turned

He slowly pushed himself up, stumbling a little as he rose to his feet and yanked the massive purple diamond **"JJ"** necklace from his neck and tossed it into the fire

"Goodbye Mr. JJ, I'm not comin' back," he muttered to himself, feeling _free_ \- truly and honestly **free** for the first time in... in so long that he couldn't even remember it....

His heels clicked on the ground, arms shooting up to the sky as he twirled, dancing with himself and skipped down the street

He was free

He was _free_...

~+~

Freedom was good, but harder than he expected, Yuri was ready to admit that

And there was a _distinct_ possibility that making money wasn't as easy as he thought it would be

Being the most wanted blonde in Gotham and now without the protection of King JJ made it awkward getting work, even the illegal kind

But that was perfectly fine, he had found something that paid well, he just needed to slip into the police station and steal back some rare diamond that his _client_ had stolen- not a problem!

Making sure that his outfit was nicely in place and his hat wasn't crooked, he strode into the police station, tilting his head up and leaned over the desk, smiling as cutely as he could at the man behind it

"I'd like to report a crime,"

"And what crime would that be?"

Grinning, Yuri leaned back and pulled his Fun Gun from his back

"This one~"

He shot a dye-coated bean bag at the cop, beaming in delight as he tossed off his hat and jacket, showing off the arsenal of ammo he had strapped to his chest

He popped another beanbag case into the gun and cocked it, heading into the main area of the department and shooting the first cop he saw, laughing in delight as he loaded a can of laughing gas into the gun, firing it towards the detective's office and dodging bullets as the cops rose to their feet

"Hello Piggies!" he shouted gleefully, loading canister after canister into his fun gun- bean bags, colored smoke, laughing gas, even a few lowgrade fireworks

All pretty non-lethal, wich he considered to be _quite_ generous considering they were firing very _real_ bullets at _him_

"Ohh come on, you pigs can't aim!" he laughed as another bullet zoomed past him, but failed to hit

He danced expertly through the department, dodging attacks and making his own, knowing the way to the evidence room by now- this wasn't the first time he was robbing it after all

Unfortunately, after less than a dozen rounds, he was already out of ammo

Pouting, he realized he'd have to make do with using the gun as a blunt force weapon

He twirled around and smacked one cop in the face with the butt of the gun, snickering as the guy hit the ground, then ducked into a split so he could swing the weapon around and hit the cop behind him between the legs with the barrel

"Oh, crotch shot!" he announced, leaping to his feet again

"You know there's a pork joke in here somewhere but I'm not crude enough to make it,"

That wasn't true, Yuri was plenty crude, he just couldn't think of a good enough pun fast enough to make it

But the pigs didn't have to know that

Jumping onto one of the desks behind him, he grabbed a coffee cup, tossing it into the air and using his gun like a bat to hit it into the gut of another cop before jumping down and running through the door to the back of the station, noting three more cops coming his way and dropping down to slide across the floor as he braced his gun in front of them, nocking all of them off their feet and leaping up just as easily, puffing a breath to clear his bangs out of his face

"Clean up on aisle three! Bacon _everywhere_!"

Amused by himself, he laughed and slung his fun gun over his shoulder, reaching into his back pocket to grab the electric charger he'd brought along and jamming it into the card reader, watching it short out and smirking with amusement as he swung the cage door open, striding inside easily

He expected it to be empty inside, but wasn't entirely surprised to see another cop standing around, apparently looking through evidence for something or other

Upon hearing him enter, the brunette pulled his gun and aimed, his soft brown eyes narrowed behind his blue-framed glasses

Almost cute

_Almost_

"Well hello little piggy," he chuckled, reaching for his gun, only to watch in surprise when the cop's shoulders sagged, his gun falling away as he tossed his head back in apparent exhaustion

"Are you kidding me!? What, it wasn't enough that my date from last night had to make fat jokes all night? Now the cute psychopathic blonde has to too!?"

"Hey, I'm not a _psychopath_ -"

"Just go on and shoot me then, put me out of my misery,"

Yuri pouted, taking a step closer and tilting his head

"What do you mean your date was making fat jokes? At you?"

The cop leveled a look at him, but it didn't stop Yuri from being confused

"Hey, listen, I wasn't calling you a pig because of your _weight_ \- one, I'm not that cheap, and two, there's not even anything wrong with your weight, I was calling you a pig because you're a cop, and all cops are pigs," he explained

The tension drained a little out of the brunette, a slight blush coating his cheeks

"...Really?"

"Really," Yuri insisted, moving to sit down on the floor and nodding for the brunette to do the same

Much to his surprise, the shy seeming cop followed suit and sat across from him

"Your date seriously was that cruel? You don't deserve that you know, that isn't on you, that's their fault and they've got alot of problems if they're doing that to you, especially to somebody they're trying to date, most likely they felt insecure,"

"I don't know what about, he was pretty," the cop muttered, pulling his legs up to his chest and chewing on his lip

...Awww......

"Deep-rooted issues that probably can't be seen on the surface, the point is that his problems aren't _your_ problems and you can't internalize that shit,"

The cop nodded slowly, and Yuri couldn't help feeling kind of.... fond... of the little piggy

He didn't seem like such a bad guy like the others, maybe he had just gone down a bad path in life and ended up in the wrong place....

"Even if you _were_ fat, that's not anything to feel bad about, I'm all for body positivity,"

"Ofcourse _you_ are, look at you," the cop grumbled

Yuri laughed, genuinely amused by that

"You can hardly be surprised, I was a ballerina for a wile you know,"

"You were?"

"Sure! I haven't done it formally in years but I like to dance by myself still, and ofcourse all the acrobatics involved in my line of work helps the core,"

"Ofcourse it does,"

Yuri chuckled, reaching out and gently pinching the cop's cheek, smoothing his thumb against it playfully

"You've got nothing to complain about though, you're _hella cute_ , and that nice little blush of your's is just proving my point," he chuckled, watching gleefully as the cop's face turned bright red

"Well, I wish I could stay, but I've got work to do," Yuri hummed as he rose to his feet

"O-Oh!"

The cop hurried to get up as well, but Yuri reached out, gently placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back down

"Don't get up, if you get up I'll have to hurt you, and I really don't want to do that,"

Wich was almost a first, it had been ages since he had met anyone who he honestly didn't want to cause any harm to...

"So I'm just supposed to let you steal evidence?"

"Would that be so bad? It's just a diamond, nobody's getting hurt, and if you let me get this over with now, I won't have to hurt anybody else, but if I'm delayed much longer then your little piggy freinds will get their shit together and come after me and then I might have to actually kill one of them, I know you don't want that,"

The brunette looked down, chewing his lip

"It's... just the diamond, you swear? Who's it for?"

"Just a cat burglar, not even a gangster or anything, I promise,"

Yuri could see his new little freind fighting with himself, but beamed with delight when the brunette unclipped a pair of handcuffs from his belt and handed them to Yuri

"It'll be suspicious if I'm unharmed _and_ unbound,"

"Oh my cute little piggy... I don't even know what to say," Yuri cooed, grabbing the cuffs and wrapping one around the cop's wrist, threading the chain around a table leg and then cuffing his other wrist

"I have to admit, it's a shame that I'm not using these in a more _kinky_ context, but maybe next time," Yuri winked, kissing the cop's cheek as his face turned red, giving a laugh at the blush before darting through the room and finding the diamond easily

"Oh by the way! What's the name of that date you had?"

"Huh? Um... Tyler Moore... why?"

"Oh just curious to see if we've dated any of the same assholes,"

Spoiler alert: That isn't at all the reason he wanted to know the guy's name

"Anyway, thanks for the help little piggy, I owe you big time!"

With that, he hurried out of the evidence room through the backdoor, the diamond now in his possession

First he'd pay a visit to his contact who had requested the diamond, then he'd look up this "Tyler Moore" and see what his fucking problem was

~+~

Yuri felt weird about everything that had happened at the police station

He didn't know what was wrong with him that _Yuri Plisetsky_ , one of Gotham's most wanted criminals, had managed to somehow _sweet talk_ him into giving himself up, but it was beyond concerning and had been on his mind for days now

He had kept his mouth shut in reference to any details that could point to Plisetsky's intentions and get him caught, even though he didn't quite know why, and when Tyler Moore and shown up dead two days later, he had felt guilty and somewhat horrified but... still didn't suggest that he might have an idea as to who was responsible

What was wrong with him?

Yuri wasn't sure....

Trying to put it out of his mind, he turned the corner down the street, sliding a box of cookies from the local bakery into his car, intending to go home and drown himself in sugar and scary movies in some attempt to refocus his attention, but he didn't get quite that far

_"Come on, you wanna go home with me?"_

_"N-No.. no....."_

_"Yes you do, c'mon..."_

Yuri didn't have his gun, but he didn't need one

Eyes narrowed, he set the cookies down on the street and ran to the ally across from him, noticing an old broom propped up against the dumpster and grabbing it

He snuck up quietly behind the assailant and and the blonde he had pinned up against the wall, clutching the broom tightly before swinging it forward and smacking the top of it against the guy's head hard enough that the plastic broke

The man stumbled, letting the blonde fall to the ground, but before he could turn around, Yuri pressed the broken end of the broom into the guy's throat, not hard enough to cut him, but hard enough to make an impact

"Don't. Move." he snarled, looking down at the ground and feeling a wave of shock shift through him, realizing that the blonde beneath him was Yuri Plisetsky

Was this... fate... somehow...?

"Yuri, do you have something heavy I can use?"

The blonde was mostly too out of it to respond, barely able to lift his head up, a slurred _"Piggy...?"_ drawling out of him

Useless, unfortunately

Oh well, it looked like Yuri was going to have to get his hands dirty

Grabbing the guy by the back of the collar, Yuri slammed him forward, pounding his head against the brick wall behind him once, twice, a third time, and watching as he crumpled to the ground unconscious

_Good_

"Come on, let's go!" Yuri insisted urgently, quickly picking up the blonde and shifting him over one shoulder, trying his best to be respectfull as he ran towards the car, a little alarmed by just how lightweight the other Yuri was

He opened the door and gently folded him up in the back seat, then slid his box of cookies into the floor and grabbed his phone from his pocket, hip-checking the door shut as he hurriedly called up the station and made his way to the driver's side

"This is Katsuki, badge number 284, I've got an assailant passed out in an ally after attempted assault, I believe if you search him you should be able to find roofies,"

He slid into the car, looking into the backseat where Plisetsky was definitely passed out cold

He _could_ take him in, he could be a hero, finally get some respect, but.....

"No, the victim prefers not to be identified, I've taken them to the hospital," he replied as he started the car

"I'll be there in an hour to make a statement,"

Turning off his phone, he set it in the cupholder and tore away from the street, driving down a nearly empty street

"Pig....?" Plisetsky mumbled from the backseat

"Are you gonna..... hurt me too....?"

Biting down on the tip of his tongue, Yuri tightened his hands on the steering weel, turning towards the nearest hotel

"No," he promised softly

"I won't hurt you,"

~+~

Yuri gasped, sitting up and blinking at his surroundings, his heart pounding as he looked around

These weren't his sheets, this wasn't his bed, and his shoes were off, but... he was still dressed...

Hurriedly, he tumbled out of bed and made his way across the room, noting the slight stream of sunlight coming in through the curtains and bracing himself as he yanked the blackout curtains open, crying out in pain as the light hit his eyes

"Fuck fuck fuck...." he grumbled, holding a hand over his head and stumbling back towards the bed to get a clearer veiw of the room

Huh, it was actually a nice hotel room, not a motel or some shitty apartment, had his attacker been some really rich asshole or something...?

Confused, he spotted a folded up note on the nightstand and jumped on the bed, squirming across it and grabbing the note, unfolding it quickly

_Yuri,_

_Found you in an ally getting assaulted, but don't worry, I... took care of the guy, he didn't do anything too bad, you were both still fully clothed when I found you and you seemed to be a little more aware so..... anyway, the room is paid up through the day, if you need to talk or anything, I've left you the business card of someone who um... deals with this sort of thing, discretely_

_~~Kat~~ -Little Piggy_

Yuri felt his face start to heat up, clutching the note closer to himself as he slowly sat up and looked down to see the business card stapled to the bottom of the page

 _Yuko Nishigori_ was all it said, with a number beneath it

Definitely discrete....

He tore it off and pocketed it, just in case he ran into someone else later who might need it, and stared at the note again, feeling his lips tick up into a grin and kissing the bottom of the note, proud of the pink lip print he left beneath the scribbled out half name

"Ok Piggy-Kat," he said to himself

"I guess I owe you twice now,"

~+~

"Stop Thorne! A few diamonds aren't worth your life!"

Ah... damn, it didn't seem to make a difference

Gritting his teeth, Yuri realized that he wasn't going to be able to keep chase, there was no way he'd manage to corner the guy at this pace, so he diverged, using his prominent knowledge of the city's layout to take another direction, jumping on top of a dumpster and climbing up a fire escape of a nearby building, ran across the rooftop and smirked as he looked down, seeing the offender right below him

He drew his gun, shooting at the man's leg and nocking him off balance as he tried to dodge, giving Yuri the time he needed to jump down from the roof onto the second level of the fire escape, shooting again and this time successfully getting the man in the thigh, wich was all he needed to give the other cops time to get to him

"Now for your partner..." he muttered to himself, hurrying to the rest of the fire escape and jumping from the last step, running around the corner and catching sight of the final theif... with his arm around Yuri Plisetsky's throat, a blade flicked out, nearing towards his face

"You really don't know who you're messing with here!" Plisetsky warned, kicking desperately at the ground, trying to gain leverage as the man dragged him, the blade cutting into his face

"Oh I know enough, you're not King JJ's anymore, wich means you're fair game,"

"Wait a second-!"

Before Plisetsky could even finish his plea, Yuri shot, the bullet going straight through the man's head and leaving the blonde free, shocked green eyes turning up to stare at the cop

"Go!" Yuri shouted urgently, knowing that he would soon have more police on his tail

"GO!!!"

"Goddamn I owe you big... I won't forget this little piggy!" Plisetsky promised, waving as he started weaving his way down other allies and between buildings, out of Yuri's sight in seconds

The cop heaved a loud sigh, shoulders sagging as he leaned back against the building behind him

What the hell was he doing with his life...?

~+~

"You think you're such hot shit, just because you knew to track me here? You really didn't think I'd be prepared?"

"Well to be honest I didn't anticipate you being that smart," the cop admitted, fully expecting the slap across his face when it came and cracking his jaw right after, glad atleast that he didn't lose a tooth from it

Though he supposed it wouldn't matter, he'd be dead soon anyway if Georgi had his way

"You know, I always thought Plisetsky was the Yuri with a big mouth, is it just something with your name that causes people to lose all common sense?"

"I've been wondering that myself lately..." the officer grumbled, watching in annoyance as Georgi took a step closer, pressing the tip of his blade against Yuri's throat and chuckling darkly as he dragged it upwards, but the officer refused to scream, no matter how much it hurt

"I've been waiting a long time for this Katsuki, you're going to pay for taking my Anya from me,"

Yuri braced himself, sucking in a breath and preparing.... when suddenly there was a loud cracking sound, like bone beneath a hammer

Blood splattered against his face and Yuri's eyes popped open, shock across his expression as he looked up, staring at the blonde in front of him as Yuri Plisetsky lifted his large mallet away from Georgi's skull, slinging it easily over his shoulder and waving joyfully at the cop

"Hiya Piggy,"

"Yuri..." he breathed in releif, watching the pigtailed man set his hammer down and draw a miniature laser from the back of his jean short shorts

"I told you I owed you,"

"Y-Yeah.... you did,"

"And this is just one out of three favors you need to cash in, got any other requests wile I'm here? I just bashed that guy's head in, that's pretty traumatic, I could give you some therapy free of charge if you want," he offered, skipping behind the chair that Yuri was bound to and slicing through the chain of the cuffs easily with his laser

"You-... therapy...?"

"My god, does EVERYBODY in this town forget that I have a fucking PHD!?" he huffed in irritation

"I was a GREAT psychiatrist you know, before Mr. JJ, I still am actually, that prick may have broken alot of my body parts over the years but he didn't break my mind... not as much as people think he did, anyway,"

Yuri swallowed, slowly standing up from the chair as he looked down at Georgi's body, feeling... oddly less sick than he predicted he should feel, and looking back up at his... freind... because this is who Yuri Plisetsky was now right? A freind? Sort of...

"I didn't forget," he corrected quietly

"I'm just surprised you offered, I didn't think you did that anymore,"

"Yeah well.... after kicking Puddin' to the curb, I'm trying to get my life back in order,"

"Good for you," Yuri smiled weakly, rubbing his arm anxiously, the sound of the cuffs- still attached to his wrists, like bracelets- jingling as he moved

"I don't need therapy for this, I've... been through worse, but um.... actually.... if that's on the table..... do you think you could um.... give me your professional opinion on.. something else...?"

Plisetsky looked about as shocked by that question as Yuri felt asking it, but-

"Sure!" he beamed, pocketing the laser and practically jumping with excitement

"C'mon, I know this GREAT little cafe` with the BEST milkshakes at the edge of town, they don't ask questions,"

Yuri nodded timidly, feeling remarkably... _calm_ as Plisetsky wrapped an arm around his shoulders and lead him out of the warehouse

"I really should call this in..."

"Eh, do it later, it's not an emergency,"

Yuri really didn't know when he started taking advice from wanted criminals, but as they walked to Plisetsky's car, he found himself actually listening, not reaching for his phone like he usually would have

~+~

"I just don't know what's wrong with me, why do all of my relationships fail? Why does my department hate me? Why can't I just.... _people_ correctly!? I mean you're a psychopath for God's sake and you're more charming and charismatic than I am!!"

Yuri shifted in his seat, sipping his strawberry milkshake as he finished picking the lock on the second cuff, finally releasing his piggy from his restraints in full and pulling the metal free from the cop's pale skin

"Ok, first of all, I'm not a psychopath, stop calling me a psychopath, I have.... less amounts of empathy than usual for human beings, but I _do_ feel empathy quite a bit towards animals... and children, and I can form honest relationships with people I sincerely care about,"

"...Ok," the cop said slowly, staring at Yuri in mild confusion

The blonde rolled his eyes, leaning back against the side of the booth, one foot propped up in his seat, the other on the ground, toeing boredly at the opening of his boot, wich he had kicked off ten minutes ago, because heels were fucking uncomfortable

"I'll teach you better later, but that's not the point right now, look, first of all, I've been in your department Piggy, it's like 95% straight white cis males, _disgustingly_ , like... you are the _only_ queer person in there aren't you?"

"Yes..." Yuri mumbled quietly, sucking on his chocolate milkshake

"And there were... what, two women? And one other non-white person? Fuck, it's no wonder you don't get any respect, I bet you're the only one who wasn't born in Gotham too,"

"Is it that obvious?" the cop muttered, sinking in his seat

"Well yeah but that's not on you, that's on _them_ , Gotham P.D. is a cess pool of privilege and toxic masculinity, you're an empathetic, gentle-handed, Japanese bisexual, you threaten their fragile male egos by existing and now you're on their turf, ofcourse they don't respect you, but that's got nothing to do with you, it's just for the same reason that they don't respect anyone who isn't a carbon copy of themselves, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, I _honestly_ do, but no matter how hard you work or what you do, you're not going to earn their respect because they don't have it in their shriveled up little ballsacks to respect anybody who's not them, so you want my advice? Stop chasing the respect of people who have no ability to give it to you, personally I think you should quit the pig-brigade and do something _usefull_ with your life and your skills but at the very least, if you INSIST on staying there, then know that you're there for yourself, for your own reasons, and that those people will never be your freinds or even your allies, they'll barely be co-workers and oftentimes your adversaries, that won't change, and it isn't because of you,"

The cop's face was utterly shocked, Yuri didn't know _why_ , he had a PHD for God's sake...

"I.... that's.... _wow_...."

"Thank you," Yuri grinned, glancing up at the waitress as she set their food down in front of them and giving her a polite nod of acknowledgement

What? Yuri might be a murderer but he sure as hell wasn't _rude_

"I know, I'm very good at my job," he noted, grabbing the ketchup from the little silver rack next to him and shaking the bottle a few times

"I-... well yes.... um.... you're really-..... you sound like..."

"Like I have experience?" Yuri guessed, flipping the cap open and squeezing a generous amount onto his plate

"I'm a psychologist, remember? A doctor? You think effeminate gay Russians are appreciated in _my_ line of work? Bitch, I was the _only_ gay in Arkham the entire time I worked there, there was only one chick there the entire time too and she ended up little better than I did, I know what you're going through, believe it or not," he noted, setting the ketchup down and grabbing a french fry, practically drowning it in the red sauce before popping it in his mouth

"I didn't know that..." the cop mumbled quietly, picking at his food

Yuri only shrugged, grabbing another french fry

"It's in the past, this life is better for me, it makes me happier than I ever was then,"

"It does?"

The cop seemed surprised at that, and Yuri......

He didn't know how to answer, so he forced a smile and grabbed his milkshake

"Splitting from JJ is the best decision I've ever made, but I didn't answer your second question yet so let me do that now- personal relationships? First of all, how many queer freinds do you have?"

"...None..."

"So it's all straights?"

The cop winced, fidgeting with his fork

"I have one freind and she's straight yes..."

Yuri screwed up his expression, cringing and wrinkling his nose

"Wow, that's really depressing even by my standards, why the fuck don't you have any more freinds?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking you to tell me!" the cop practically shreiked, looking utterly devastated

"Yeah but I didn't know you had things _that_ bad off,"

The cop hung his head and Yuri rolled his eyes, handing him a french fry, because the fucking loser had ordered a _salad_ with his dinner instead of fries like any _normal_ person at a diner

"Ok, look, I'm sure that there's alot of shitty components to your question- not spending enough time meeting people, meeting people in the wrong places, all kinds of crap like that, but the biggest problem is your confidence, I'm a people person Piggy, I know people from the get, and when I look at you do you know what I see?"

"...A pig?"

"Besides that, I see a bleeding baby deer, with no ability to defend yourself or act in your own best interests, now if I was a bad person looking to tear someone down to make myself feel better or to create some kind of sick sidekick type relationship you're who I'd go for in a heartbeat, that's why you keep attracting losers to you, it's like sharks smelling blood in the water, but if I was a HEALTHY person, I wouldn't want anything to do with you because that same blood that's attracting all the shithead people? That would repel me,"

He paused, dragging another fry through some ketchup

"You know, outside of being a fixer type of person, I like fixing people, _probably_ what got me involved with JJ so probably not the type of relationship I should seek out in the future, _and yet_ ,"

"...And yet...?" the cop asked slowly

"And yet, you don't need fixing, you just need a little confidence, and I like you- _alot_ , do you know how rare that is? I fucking hate people, wich is why I don't have a problem killing them, but _you_ ,"

Yuri paused, reaching across the table and gently pinching the cop's cheek again

"I really like you, for a pig, anyway, you're bringing out my soft side here,"

And the piggy was undeniably adorable when he blushed, wich helped too

"S-So what are you saying.... exactly?"

"I'm saying that you can now tell anyone who asks that you have _two_ freinds, we'll watch eachother's backs you and I, ok? You keep the hogs at bay, I'll keep the rest of Gotham from turning you into a pork cutlet, sound good?"

"...I can't believe I'm saying this but... yeah, it... it actually does," the cop smiled shyly, reaching out to shake Yuri's hand

"I'm Yuri Katsuki, it's really nice to be your freind,"

"Your name is Yuri too?" the blonde asked in surprise

"Hm, well, I'll just keep calling you piggy then, you can.... you can call me Yura, if you want,"

"Yura?" the brunette practically chirped

"It's a Russian thing, always call me that ok? Unless something is wrong, only call me by my normal name if something is wrong, it'll be like our little code, ok?"

"...Ok," the other Yuri confirmed with a soft smile, eyes brightening as the blonde took his hand and-...... jerked it across the table instead of shaking it

Yuri squeaked, trying to avoid landing in his food as the blonde leaned down and chastely kissed his forehead with a loud _MWAH_ , leaving a lipstick print on his skin

"There, now you're mine,"

The brunette laughed nervously, slowly pulling back and straightening out his ruffled clothes

"Oh and one more thing Piggy, next time we go out? You'd better order real food,"

Yuri punctuated that by flicking a french fry at his new freind, who caught it with surprising ease and popped it in his mouth

"Whatever you say, Doctor,"

Yuri shivered a little at that, his eyes practically glowing, it had been so damn long since anyone had given him any respect, much less called him by his title...

"Ah, Piggy, you're too cute, almost as much as my cat,"

"You have a cat?" the brunette asked excitedly, much to the blonde's delight

"Yeah! Her name is Puma Tiger Scorpion, but I just call her Potya for short, wanna see pictures!?"

"Definitely!"

Yuri beamed, pulling his phone from his pocket and flicking through it before showing a few pictures to his new freind

"Um.... Yura.....that's... a tiger...."

"I know! Isn't she awesome!?"

"She... really is.... something else...."

"I know," Yuri sighed dreamily

"Do you have any pets?"

"I do actually, a dog, Vicchan, I um... named him after that cute Nikiforov guy..."

"Ooohhh Piggy has a crush?" Yura snickered

"Ok, let's see that pupper, I'm more of a cat person but all animals are adorable,"

"I agree with you there," the cop smiled back

The evening was so easy, it seemed to drag on for hours, and yet..

Yuri felt happy about it

Totally and completely happy

~+~

For three months, the Yuris repeated this

Every Tuesday night was Pop's Diner night- without fail

And if there was ever an issue on Yuri's part, Yura did his best to create a distraction to get him off the hook for a few hours

They spent more time together aside from that too, hanging out at eachother's apartments and getting ice cream on morning jogs, they had to be carefull with being in public, as Yura was still a wanted criminal and Yuri was still a cop and the wrong person seeing them together could spell trouble

But that was ok, they enjoyed their privacy anyhow

Yuri grew more confident with each visit and Yura found himself actually leveling out a little more, bit by bit, still batshit crazy by most standards but reclaiming little bits of the person he had been before JJ

The relationship was incredibly healthy for both of them and they adored eachother, there didn't seem to be an end in sight for it either

...

Until, on one random Tuesday, Yura didn't show up for lunch

**Six weeks later**

This place was as boring as boring could be

Annoyed and frustrated, Yura shifted on the bed, waiting for something to happen, for _anything_ to happen

He glanced down at the floor, perking instantly at the sight of a single red rose growing beneath the crack in the wall

He jumped up, eagerly rushing closer and picking the flower from where it was growing, lifting it to his face and inhaling the familiar, sweet, floral scent

"Nice to see you too Cupcake," Yura hummed through the wall

As per usual, the answer was quiet, only barely enough to hear

_"Sorry I can't do more, I'm lucky I managed to get that one through,"_

Understandable, Arkham had some pretty tight cages when they really wanted to...

"It's ok, I love this more than any other flower- or flowers- you could have given me," he promised, holding the rose close to his chest, head tilting as he skimmed his fingers against the petals, frowning a little when he noticed the faded blue of one of his pigtails and feeling his shoulders sag

He knew his pink and blue dye was fading but he had purposely tried to avoid looking at his hair and seeing what happened to it as of late...

He wanted to get out of there and get a good dye job again...

And then, as though his cry for help had been heard somehow, the alarm started going off, the signature signal that someone was breaking out- or about to _be_ broken out

Leaping to his feet, he clung to the rose and pressed up against the glass wall, surprise and confusion littering his expression when a... total... stranger.... met him in front of the glass, sliding a keycard onto the scanner and thus allowing the door to open

"Um.... not that I'm not thankfull, but who are you....?"

The stranger was dressed in a plain black super suit with no discernible symbols or signifiers on it, a black cloak provided the hood over his head and a similarly black ninja-like mask covered the lower half of his face, Yura had no idea who he was...

"Oh come on," he said, voice muffled by the mask as he pulled off the hood and yanked down the mask

"Did you really forget your best freind Yura?"

The blonde's expression lit up like a Christmas tree and he wasted no time in pouncing on his name-twin

"PIGGY!!!" he shreiked gleefully, hugging him tightly

"My favorite little piggy!!! You came for me!! I-... I thought you didn't care!"

"How could I not care about my best freind?" Yuri frowned, hugging Yura back affectionately before reluctantly wiggling out of his grip to readjust his mask and hood

"I'm sorry it took me so long, after finding out you were in Arkham it... it took a little time to figure out how to get you out of here cleanly, but I've got you now, let's go,"

"Wait, can you get my boyfreind out too?"

Yuri paused, head tilting

"Boyfreind...?"

Grinning, Yura nodded and skipped to the cell next to his own, pointing at the man behind glass

"His name is Otabek but I just call him Beka, you might know him better as-"

"Poison Ivy," Yuri concluded flatly, watching as Otabek waved with disinterest from behind the glass

"Please Piggy... I love him, and he's not evil or anything..."

Sighing, Yuri stepped to the card reader again, pausing and staring down the other man

"Promise me you aren't going to go on another act of ecologically freindly genocide?"

"I'll exert better self control," Otabek replied simply

Not very convincing, but Yuri knew he wouldn't get better than that, so he slid the card anyway, watching, mildly unsettled, as the door opened and the plant-controlling meta-human stepped out

"So you're the pig Yura talks about so much, nice to finally meet you,"

"Nice to meet you too, I think..." Yuri said with caution, turning back to his freind

"We need to get going, I didn't come here alone, I brought my boyfreind too,"

Yura gasped, an arm slinging around Yuri's shoulders

"You've got a boyfreind now? OOooh, you'll have to tell me more over pirozhkis and milkshakes," he winked

"You got it, but... listen, I'm not judging _your_ choice in guys, so you can't judge mine either, ok?"

Oh, that was off-putting

"Piggy.... what have you been sleeping with?" Yura frowned with concern

"You're about to find out... just... come on, we're meeting him on the roof," he insisted, making a run for the door with the other two right behind him

"I like the new look by the way little piggy! Hair slicked back, contacts, very sexy, are you a supervillain now?"

"More like super _hero_ actually, maybe antihero? I'm honestly still deciding..."

"Wait so this is a legit thing now? Since when?"

"Since I quit the force,"

"You quit!? Holy fuck!! WHEN!?"

Yuri smiled beneath his mask, pressing the button for the elevator as they arrived in front of it

"Alot has changed in the last few weeks, I... decided you were right, in the beginning, I'll never make progress with people who don't respect me, so I have to work with people who do, so I quit and became a vigilante instead, I'm uh... getting help from my boyfreind..slash...mentor..."

That must be why he asked Yura not to judge him then, the blonde presumed

"Oh Piggy, I'm so proud of you," Yura said softly, leaning up to give him an affectionate hug, squeezing gently and allowing Otabek to herd them both into the elevator as it opened, hurriedly pressing for the door to close again

"I guess I can't really call you 'Piggy' anymore though, now that you're no longer on Pork Patrol,"

Yuri shrugged, reluctantly stepping back

"I don't mind, it's... kind of our thing now,"

"Guess so, what's your new name anyway?"

"I... don't really know yet, it's all kind of just a question right now, this is my first outting as....."

"The Question?" Yura teased, perking Yuri into another smile

"Yeah essentially,"

"Well I approve," Yura hummed, glancing at the utility belt around Yuri's waist, he hadn't noticed it before...

"Got any toys for me?"

"Um... for now no, let's hope we don't have to use any,"

"Awwwwwww..."

The door opened on the rooftop with Yura still pouting, but he perked up when he saw the helicopter there

"Woah, this is your boy-toy's? Must be rich,"

"More than you know," Yuri chuckled, sprinting across the rooftop, Yura and Otabek behind him, just as the man in question stepped out of the helicopter-

"DEMON!" Otabek shouted, snarling as he started summoning plants to form a barrier around the three of them

"Wait wait wait! No!! He's my boyfreind!" Yuri shouted quickly, rushing to stand between the plants and the man in the copter

"You're dating the fucking batass!?" Yura shouted

"Not quite the one you're thinking of," came the deep- clearly altered- Russian accented voice of the man under the cowl

"I won't explain myself now, but know that you can trust me, if you trust Yuri, who, by the way, promised there was only one criminal we were busting out?"

"Long story," Yuri insisted with a sigh, taking a few steps closer and grabbing Yura's hand

"You do trust me... don't you, Yura?"

Yura...

That name, that special name.... Yuri believed this was the right choice, he must or he would have warned Yura otherwise, so....

"....Yeah, I trust you, but if he pulls anything he's getting a batarang up the ass,"

"I think that's fair," Yuri promised, pulling his freind to the elevator and climbing in with him, Otabek reluctantly following right after

"How's Potya, by the way? Is she alright?"

"Yeah, I've been taking care of her the last few weeks," Yuri promised, the door closing behind them as he immediately settled next to whatever bat-themed superhero this was

"Thanks Piggy," Yura smiled weakly

"..Piggy..?" the stranger muttered to Yuri, who waved off the concern with a short "Long story" as his answer

Now that Yura was getting a better look at him, he _did_ seem notably different than the last bat he encountered...

With long silver hair and a thinner mask, his shape much more lithe and slim than the muscular Batman or the curvy Batwoman who Yura had more experience with, he was definitely different

"So, a bat-freak who breaks more rules than he follows, an unnamed vigilante, a pay-for-slay antihero, and an ex eco-terrorist get into a helicopter, sounds like the set-up for a great joke!" Yura hummed as he leaned into Otabek's lap, the copter starting to take flight

"Actually," Yuri said slowly

"I was thinking it sounded alot more like the set-up for a great _team_... interested?"

Yura's lips ticked up, expression warming

"You know something? I think I could get behind that, Little Piggy,"

Yura wasn't really one for all the "freindship is magic" bullshit, but even he had to admit, life did seem better off with a freind or two to enjoy it with


End file.
